ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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