i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he thought i was a dude.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she pinky promised me she was 18
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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