it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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