I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Bring me that man meat
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
