so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my shit smells like andre
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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