I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
