Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
