Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
