I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dear god my vagina.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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