I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
