i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
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He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
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Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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