I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
