sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
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I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
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I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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