I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I can't put those talents on a resume
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
