look no pants
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If I had your ass I would rule the world
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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