id be glad to
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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