The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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