as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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