so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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