you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
