so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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