You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
