so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
