Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
