Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
