its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
