When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
tell me about the fingering
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