Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.

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  (609): It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds. http://tfl.nu/3v3q
  Replies (48) Good night (758) Bad night (8217)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"

  (913): View more from Kansas

  did you yell "are you not entertained?"

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  (410): i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude" (913): did you yell "are you not entertained?" http://tfl.nu/qa0j
  Replies (21) Good night (7138) Bad night (980)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"

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  (404): He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!" http://tfl.nu/kefh
  Replies (16) Good night (5694) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.

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  (703): does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/2knl
  Replies (11) Good night (3742) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool

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  (817): Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool http://tfl.nu/oo5b
  Replies (5) Good night (1088) Bad night (2623)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.

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  (402): Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake. http://tfl.nu/294d
  Replies (24) Good night (8505) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother

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  (970): they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother http://tfl.nu/e7je
  Replies (14) Good night (3373) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore

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  (208): Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore http://tfl.nu/7jsm
  Replies (11) Good night (3850) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.

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  (415): She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision. http://tfl.nu/yqhh
  Replies (19) Good night (5261) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men

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  (315): Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men http://tfl.nu/a6p1
  Replies (4) Good night (1214) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.

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  (862): The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different. http://tfl.nu/flvh
  Replies (3) Good night (423) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I like the wholesome side of you

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.

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  (503): I like the wholesome side of you (571): I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots. http://tfl.nu/22ah
  Replies (3) Good night (1607) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover

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  (214): If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover http://tfl.nu/4860
  Replies (6) Good night (363) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.

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  (760): I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube. http://tfl.nu/kpp6
  Replies (7) Good night (705) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..

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  (207): But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life.. http://tfl.nu/emx1
  Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (260)

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