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• (613): View more from Ontario

  she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours

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• (904): View more from Florida

  took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?

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• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.

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• (408): View more from California

  Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (903): View more from Texas

  All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?

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• (925): View more from California

  …wtf were in those pills mom gave me

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