Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.

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(831): View more from California

I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.

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(281): View more from Texas

Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?

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(904): View more from Florida

I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Shitshow foam night was such a success

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(212): View more from New York

Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now

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