Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try. http://tfl.nu/d3im
  Replies (38) Good night (505) Bad night (4222)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too" http://tfl.nu/x15y
  Replies (5) Good night (4054) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same http://tfl.nu/kiu0
  Replies (19) Good night (6017) Bad night (885)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail?? http://tfl.nu/azi4
  Replies (4) Good night (1337) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip. http://tfl.nu/kzaf
  Replies (2) Good night (1842) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye http://tfl.nu/6gyi
  Replies (10) Good night (719) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year.... http://tfl.nu/e6zr
  Replies (3) Good night (1380) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet. http://tfl.nu/7a7w
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there http://tfl.nu/7cfh
  Replies (8) Good night (826) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass? http://tfl.nu/jyz9
  Replies (8) Good night (1386) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done. http://tfl.nu/u7ub
  Replies (1) Good night (760) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing

  (1-619): View more from California

  Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this

  (619): View more from California

  ...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing (1-619): Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this (619): ...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down... http://tfl.nu/uvgk
  Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt. http://tfl.nu/84n0
  Replies (5) Good night (620) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink. http://tfl.nu/7x1a
  Replies (2) Good night (282) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air. http://tfl.nu/zwsc
  Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (161)

Randomize