stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.