Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.