Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night

  (248): View more from Michigan

  he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit

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  (419): idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night (248): he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit http://tfl.nu/a46h
  Replies (6) Good night (1057) Bad night (1494)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops

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  (978): Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops http://tfl.nu/wqmx
  Replies (45) Good night (4435) Bad night (860)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.

  (850): View more from Florida

  I guess we all know what he was cookin.

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  (850): So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines. (850): I guess we all know what he was cookin. http://tfl.nu/lvcl
  Replies (15) Good night (1176) Bad night (3947)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.

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  (443): I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people. http://tfl.nu/qtnv
  Replies (30) Good night (6579) Bad night (1435)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."

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  (+44): All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis." http://tfl.nu/rkkz
  Replies (10) Good night (975) Bad night (3153)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance

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  (724): I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance http://tfl.nu/bc1t
  Replies (21) Good night (3515) Bad night (1034)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.

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  (716): He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready. http://tfl.nu/z83a
  Replies (9) Good night (4963) Bad night (839)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice

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  (443): we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice http://tfl.nu/hzcq
  Replies (10) Good night (6257) Bad night (1818)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.

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  (613): Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome. http://tfl.nu/65yv
  Replies (15) Good night (4967) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?

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  (403): You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something? http://tfl.nu/hj44
  Replies (17) Good night (4701) Bad night (1314)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.

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  (570): Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer. http://tfl.nu/iju5
  Replies (12) Good night (1722) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad

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  (978): Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad http://tfl.nu/d7yn
  Replies (7) Good night (1583) Bad night (511)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.

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  (512): I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual. http://tfl.nu/irow
  Replies (1) Good night (769) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  ...it's a 9am class...

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  (602): You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer? (505): ...it's a 9am class... http://tfl.nu/7p5a
  Replies (2) Good night (602) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions

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  (301): At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions http://tfl.nu/y4pr
  Replies (1) Good night (552) Bad night (274)

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