Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I've blown a few things in my day
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
