I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize