Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.

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  (206): This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it. http://tfl.nu/dmrx
  Replies (13) Good night (1704) Bad night (377) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.

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  (860): I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus. http://tfl.nu/nv5c
  Replies (17) Good night (4129) Bad night (535) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.

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  (619): You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there. http://tfl.nu/abjc
  Replies (18) Good night (5181) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt

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  (518): for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt http://tfl.nu/1w5z
  Replies (11) Good night (793) Bad night (2852) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing

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  (208): know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing http://tfl.nu/j7xf
  Replies (26) Good night (5581) Bad night (1417) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.

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  (626): Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment. http://tfl.nu/ewer
  Replies (10) Good night (2648) Bad night (1022) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.

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  (715): Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way. http://tfl.nu/o1v6
  Replies (3) Good night (2383) Bad night (1331) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D

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  (902): This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D http://tfl.nu/3txw
  Replies (15) Good night (2339) Bad night (864)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa

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  (972): honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa http://tfl.nu/ld2g
  Replies (7) Good night (1407) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?

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  (603): She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep? http://tfl.nu/8ccn
  Replies (11) Good night (1321) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.

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  (949): Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand. http://tfl.nu/6vlj
  Replies (6) Good night (603) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.

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  (678): I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex. http://tfl.nu/mbc3
  Replies (2) Good night (732) Bad night (316) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.

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  (612): we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day. http://tfl.nu/zhdr
  Replies (5) Good night (1079) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.

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  (520): Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday. http://tfl.nu/j22e
  Replies (7) Good night (834) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?

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  (262): I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!? http://tfl.nu/rfa8
  Replies (5) Good night (661) Bad night (175) Order T-Shirt

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