I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.