Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
