But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
