i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize