her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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