i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
