I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
