She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
