you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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