You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize