And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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