too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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