I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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