Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
