ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
