I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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