Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
