Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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