hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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