Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
