just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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