i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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