well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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