ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
