I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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