I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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